Chronic illness

Relinquishing Control 

We all like to be in control of as many aspects of our lives as possible. It’s just human nature. Dealing with chronic and mental illness means you aren’t always in control of your body, your mind, your work life, your future, or your relationships. And that can really be a hard pill to swallow. I think what troubles me the most is not feeling in control of my body and mind. I wish I could say, “Body, you stop vomiting RIGHT NOW,” or “Mind, cool it with the horrible anxiety!” and that they would heed me.

Unfortunately, I have to relinquish some control. Yes, there are things I can do to try to reduce the frequency and severity of my symptoms (medication, diet, sleep, acupuncture etc.), but I never know when I will suddenly become ill. A perfect example is that every family vacation, I have to pack a bunch of different medications to prepare for any possible situation. I need to be aware of where the nearest ER is. So relaxing…haha.

I try to take all the other stuff one day at a time. If I think too much about my employment/financial situation or lack of friends, I just get overwhelmed and depressed. I’m not perfect, my life isn’t perfect. All that I ask of myself is that I stay positive, grateful, and always try to do the best I can. It is not my responsibility to live up to what others expect or want from me. They will never know what it is like to live in my body and with my mind every day.

Be Kind To Yourselves,

Lindsay B.

One thought on “Relinquishing Control 

  1. Oh how I relate to these sentiments. Having Type 1 diabetes ensures that, unlike all my friends and acquaintances, I’m unable to just “drop everything and go”. Planning for any sort of excursion is a must. Not for me, a small delicate handbag that matches my outfit, but a tote bag containing glucose testing kit, painkillers required after two back surgeries, piece of fruit, sweet biscuit, small bottle of coke or something similar lest the excitement of the proposed outing encourage the dreaded hypo. All this produces anxiety and I sometimes wonder if it’s not better to just stay home and read a book! Ah….just gotta remember to keep on keeping on!

    Liked by 1 person

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